Hello I’m Shy

Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Yep yep you read right, I am very very shy.

I think it all stems from my youth, when my school career was torture and my peers made me feel worthless. I was relentlessly bullied as a kid, so I made sure I stayed in the background unnoticed. If no one noticed me, no one could be horrible to me. School for me was very lonely and tough and I hand on heart hated every second it. I’ve mention this before and also mentioned how I wouldn’t even want to dress in a certain way as not to stand out too much, everything about me, what I wore, what I did, I wanted it all to blend into the shadows so I could be unnoticed. From that I developed my shyness around strangers or people I didn’t know very well and brought it into my adulthood.

My friends, family, people that know me will laugh and say I am the complete opposite to shy, I’m loud and and I’m silly and I’m brash - but only in their company. To people I don’t know, I go mute. Meeting strangers fills me with dread. Having to interact with strangers, go anywhere where they will be strangers or being in any sort of social situations with a lot of strangers I hate. I panic and I get scared. I go mute to the point where I can’t get my words and fear I come across as rude or uninteresting. When I can force myself to get my words out, I find myself tripping over them and not making sense, babbling and laughing nervously and then I hate myself afterwards. 

My new plot lesson, that I’ve been going to for around 8 months now I’m still ridiculously shy, I go every Friday and I’m still not used to the people. I find it hard to join in and just tend to keep to myself, only ever daring to quietly ask for help when I need it. I also feel so silly after. I just find it hard to let loose - this feelings from school and safe guards I had coming back up.

Last year I asked at work if I could start doing weekly comms, where I stand up and present my results to the floor - thats A LOT of people, in a way of over coming my shyness. I also in December spoke on a panel for the Bloggersphere magazine. I was terrified the whole time I was up there and I think it showed but I was please I did it. I’m actively seeking others ways all the time to eventually overcome the shy.

I guess this blogpost is my confession of being very shy a people are often shocked to learn that I am.

Wearing:
Dress Cheap Monday | Jacket Pull and Bear | Shoes* T.U.K



Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz
Alternative Style Blogger Foxxtailz

Comments

  1. I'm exactly the same! Maybe that's where our style experimentation comes from, so we can express our personalities in a different way :)

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